Thursday, March 17, 2011


Back in January of this year, my dear friend Ed took his own life. It was, and still continues to be, one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with.

Even just this past week I found myself almost sending him a text to tell him about all the crazy hospital drama. (he was an EMT and loved gore, he woulda LOVED to see my gallstones!) Not to mention, spring is starting and Ed LOVED spring--plants and gardening and new life and all that stuff.

Anyways, just after he died, I went to his memorial service and stayed with his loving partner and now my close friend John for a few days afterward.

When the funeral home delivered all the flower arrangements the next day, I spotted an African violet in one of them! Of course I was gonna yank it and call it my own, but Ed's sister-in-law had already claimed it. So I asked her if I could just grab a few leaves from it. She looked at me funny, but said "Sure."

So I grabbed 4 leaves and put them down, and waited... My goal was to get babies to share with any of Ed's friends and family who might want to try their hand at growing an African violet. An African violet with high sentimental value, at that!

Just now, I spotted the very first baby on one of the leaves! And just time time for his birthday which is in 2 days.
Look at that little baby coming up from the stem of the "mama leaf"!

Is Ed smiling down at us right now? I certainly think so.
This is a pic of Ed taken the weekend we first met in-person back in '04 (we met online in '99). 
It's pretty much my fave pic of him, and will always make me smile. <3


  1. What a wonderful way to commemorate your friend's life.

  2. Starting those plantlets is such a thoughtful thing to do.

    Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

  3. beautiful story mer, any clue what its name is? if it isnt named, you should put get a bloom, pair it with itself, get a plant from seed, reproduce it 3 times, and register it called Ed's Life or something, great memorial

  4. That's a really sweet memorial.

  5. How sweet that it is sending out babies in time for his birthday. I think the photo is hilarious! Love & Hugs! Jana

  6. How wonderful to have a plant to remember him by. Sorry for your loss. Death is a hard thing to deal with. Remember, every relationship is different, every death is different, therefore, every grief is different. Don't be afraid to grieve as much or as little as you need. It's an individual thing and no one can say you're doing it right or wrong. Hope the little blooms on your new plant make you smile each time you see them.

  7. sorry to read of your loss, it's my fathers birthday today 19th. he died in 1992 and when at my parents house there was a tiny cactus growing in a tiny pot, my Mum said it was one my Dad had started from seed, I'm not a cactus person but was so amazed my Dad had started one from seed, he loved to see things grow, I asked my Mum what was she going to do with? could I have it? she said take it as she didn't know what to do with it, in truth neither did I but I occasional water it and feed it and it is still growing 19 years later and it makes me smile and remember the good things we shared, I hope your AV gives you as much pleasure and lives a long time, Frances x

  8. It's a struggle to cope with ordinary death but suicide is something else again. It's a lovely thought that he is still with you through the baby violet.

  9. Hi, I discovered your blog this morning via this link on another blog I read regularly:

    Now I will be reading your blog regularly, too!

    On a more personal note, thank you for your beautiful post about your friend Ed and your touching, fruitful commemoration of your friendship with him.

  10. Thanks Zach! Hope you'll enjoy it here :-)


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